The Goods: Film Reviews
The Dancing Pig is a goofy little early film capturing a vaudeville-type stage dance — except one of the dancers is in an elaborate pig costume. I’m not enough of an early cinema history buff to declare this best costume ever filmed up to this point, but it’s gotta be up there — especially the cursed-looking teeth and tongue.
I haven’t seen Grindhouse, but my understanding is that it works as more than the sum of its parts, crafting a fantasy B-movie universe to dive into.
Mostly harmless but bland to the point of brain rot.
A C-tier Lopez song, lots of rehashed/remixed gags and shots from the original Frozen, and a plot you’d expect to see in the third season of a sitcom. (Why does Elsa start acting drunk when she gets a cold?)
The booger snow monsters could have been fun-weird but are just boring-weird.
The only thing I unreservedly like is Elsa’s new green dress, which should probably show you the storytelling sophistication we’re dealing with here.
April 2022 update:
My four-year-old daughter specifically requested we watch this again. I try not to force my opinions on her, so I obliged without comment. But I asked her why.
“The snowgies are weird,” she said.
“And that’s good?” I asked.
“Yes. I like it when they’re weird. I wish I had Elsa’s powers so I could do weird things with it,” she said.
I was so proud. I’m gonna need to put together an age-organized curriculum of weird movies to keep her on this train.
As expressive as the raccoons are…
As compelling as the visual allegory is and how much I vibe with parenting stories like this…
As much as I love seeing new hand-drawn animation projects with clear budget and love and artistry behind them…
The stuttery effect of the character animation absolutely ruined my pleasure watching this. I truly cannot understand what artistic effect they were trying to achieve, because it distracted me the entire time.
I watched this with my daughters, and it helped me rediscover the fear and romance and hope for redemption baked into the story. The script, characters, and music are all so timeless and perfect.
The screenplay is unfortunately quite a bit prosaic. None of the characterization is strong enough for us to really buy into the romance or Hepburn’s self-discovery.
But the footage of Venice in over-saturated Technicolor? Holy moley. I fell in love with the city all over again. Lean captures it with an intoxicating, almost delirious, beauty. *nostalgic sigh*
Perhaps a bit too generous towards its characters and indulgent in its runtime, but goddamn what a movie. The acting, the extended flowing shots, the use of sound (firecrackers!), the sprawling ensemble… this is cinema at its most robust and vibrant, and I’m here for it.
When I was in high school, the Flash game called Quest for the Crown was one of the funniest things I’d ever seen. (You can see a full playthrough here.)
The mythic settings, the outlaw showdown, John Wayne (dat intro zoom!), the cowboys-and-Indians shootout, the saloons, the individualism and post-Civil War politics: This is a quintessential classic western film, one of the greats.
I would watch the crap out of a full length version of this. Somebody start a Change.org petition or a Kickstarter or something.