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The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse (2022)

The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse opens with a mole mistaking a tree for a cake and never gets any less whimsical than that. It ends with an inverse Jungle Book finale, and the entire script is basically The Little Prince platitudes. Serious eye-roll piece of fluff. This is just desperate to be a movie that gets sentimentally adopted as a holiday classic, but it’s far too saccharine and shallow to earn it.

The picture-book-come-to-life animation is genuinely quite lovely, though, with outstanding use of white space snow sliced by daring shadows, plus beautiful inky skies. The motion is occasionally a bit ungainly — it works better as stills — but my big complaint is the character designs which have these weird sketch-like flourishes that simulate un-erased pencil lines. It’s most distracting on the horse (you can see it in the poster) but there for all of them.

Maybe in the right context — cozied up with your kids on a snow day next to a crackling fire — it might spark magic, but it’s just a bit too much knock-off Winnie the Pooh for me.

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Till (2022)

Till is very much not the kind of movie I typically like, but it’s one of the better specimens of that racism-misery-porn Oscar bait subgenre. It’s also notably restrained — the famous murder takes place off-screen, and the film doesn’t linger too long on the horrifying image of the dead body.

This is really the Danielle Deadwyler show, and she absolutely knocks it out of the park. It’s a real powerhouse turn that does feel like an Oscar snub, though there are none I’m itching to kick off (haven’t seen Blonde yet, though).

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Troll (2022)

A competent enough Nordic riff on Godzilla, at least until it gets into kooky royal conspiracy material. The ending lost me a bit, and I’m not wild about the creature design, but the production is quite good at conveying the massive scope of the creature, which is the single most important part of a movie like this.

(Important, Disappointing Note: Not a Troll 2 prequel.)

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Moonfall (2022)

I understand there’s a sense of nostalgia around these dumb, effects-heavy, non-superhero blockbusters. But this is just a far worse Independence Day (you gotta love that downgrade from young Will Smith to Patrick Wilson) with a little bit of Contact sprinkled in there, blended into the stupidest possible slurry. And it’s not even that fun. There are a few cool images, and the score gave me goosebumps once or twice, but that’s it.

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Final Flesh (2009)

I know this is intended to be a subversive investigation of the boundaries and biases in creating art, but I find it just to be mean-spirited and impish. (That doesn’t mean I didn’t laugh a bunch of times.)

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After Last Season (2009)

It feels scientifically engineered to be as boring as possible: People having astonishingly vacant conversations in beige rooms, the central murder mystery given the urgency of a tax return. There’s a long stretch of inexplicable 1982-level CGI. I tried to find some avant garde vibes to love, but it’s just too dull.

Check out my interview with the star of After Last Season, Jason Kulas – the first he’s ever given about the movie.

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Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery (2022)

There’s not a single thing I like more here than in Knives Out, but I do like almost everything almost as much.

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Puss in Boots (2011)

The best Shrek movie, at least prior to 2022 (unless your nostalgia holds part 1 afloat like it does for so many millennials, myself included). And this comes from someone who thought the character was really stupid in the Shrek sequels. This is basically a big Zorro riff, but with a cat in the lead, and it’s quite charming and zippy. Something was going on at Dreamworks from 2009-2011. This isn’t Dragon tier, but it is Kung Fu Panda tier.

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Roald Dahl’s Matilda the Musical (2022)

The characters are cartoonish and not especially deep, but the production is excellent. The settings have whiffs of Burton expressionism, the large-scale choreography is like a shot of cinematic espresso (especially “Revolting Children”).

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The Walk (2015)

Zemeckis’s best movie in many years. It’s a caper that doubles as a nifty CGI-driven thriller (recreating the Twin Towers and flying audiences above them) and an artistic confessional by Zemeckis (a creator who must conquer the next obstacle, even if it means potential self-destruction).

I wish I had seen this in 3D.