Categories
Revision Candidate Legacy Review

Lava (2014)

In much the same way that short stories allow for bizarre, unsustainable scenarios that would never sufficiently fill out a novel, so Pixar’s short films provide an outlet for not-quite-a-story-but-not-quite-not-a-story premises: An old man playing chess against himself? A living lost and found box? Personifications of day and night? Sure, it works for five minutes.

Categories
Revision Candidate Legacy Review

Luzzu (2021)

One thing that Luzzu gets indisputably correct: Water is beautiful. Alex Camilleri captures in his debut film, with the help of cinematographer Léo Lefèvre, about 37 shades of blue, some bubbly, some murky, some bright, etc. I just wish the film spent even more of its runtime at sea.

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Legacy Podcast Rating Review

Read It and Weep (2006)

Here’s a summary of the first few minutes of Read it and Weep:

  1. Jamie Bartlett (Kay Panabaker) accidentally submits her personal sketchbook for an English class assignment
  2. Her teacher likes it so much that she submits it to a literary agent
  3. It is published and nationally distributed
  4. It become a major bestseller

Totally plausible, right?

Categories
Review

King Richard (2021)

I find myself torn between basic appreciation of the filmmaking craft of King Richard and utter annoyance at its awards-bait laziness.

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Legacy Review

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)

The first hour of Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl is one of the most entertaining blockbusters of 2000s. Gore Verbinski captures all of his budget on screen, with huge swashbuckling set pieces and chases and outstanding period production values. The action comes at a furious clip. You can almost taste the popcorn as you watch.

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Legacy Review

Blue’s Big Musical Movie (2000)

Roger Ebert claimed to review movies based on how well they achieved their goals rather than the goals themselves, and I’m here to apply that same philosophy. For Blue’s Big Musical Movie is pretty terrific at being an epic, thoughtful, mildly subversive triple-length episode of the hit toddler TV show.

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Legacy Review

About Time (2013)

About Time’s big gimmick is its time travel, yet it’s pretty horrible as a time travel movie-proper.

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Review

It’s Kind of a Funny Story (2010)

Ned Vizzini was a young adult author who frequently and openly struggled with his mental health before dying by suicide at the age of 32 in 2013.

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Review

Watchmen (2009)

Rarely has a numeric rating felt so insufficient in capturing the totality of my opinion towards a film than what you see below.

Categories
Review

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)

I’m fairly tolerant of the Chris Columbus outings, but watching Prisoner of Azkaban right on the tails of the first two films is like wandering the desert and then having a big glass of water.